Day 20

Woke up at 11 this morning famished.  I guess that’s what happens when you sleep your whole morning away.  I was up at 8:15 this morn but fell back to sleep.  I feel a whole lot better and think I kicked the illness after 12 hours of sleep.  The weather is really crappy here and I am only motivated to go to the movies and eat. 

Food Journal for today:

B'Fast- Coffee with low fat milk and one teaspoon sugar, 2 bowls of Captain Crunch

Lunch- I went out for pizza with my boyfriend and cousins and was feeling much like I did yesterday (intense cravings and totally moody because of it).  My eyes were bigger than my stomach and so I ordered 1 meatball calzone and a garlic knot.  Thankfully I came to my senses when it arrived and after a bite of the garlic knot, I gave it away and ended up splitting the calzone with the bf.  I felt satisfied and unlike the past, I didn’t polish off my entire meal solo.   

Snack- We went to the movies and I ate candy…too much candy.  I shared Charleston Chews, Swedish Fish, Sour Gummies, and Caramels.  Because it was shared I didn’t end up polishing off my own box.  I opted for a bottle of water at the theater and not the old Diet Coke I would have gotten.  I could feel the temptation of my old habits coming on and so I came to the sad realization that I can’t eat a big (or at least calorie filled) dinner because of all the junk I ate today.  

Dinner- 1 moderately sized breaded chicken cutlet with a tiny bit of mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce.

Overall I sat on my ass all day.  Kinda hating myself right now but today has been a huge motivator to do spin next week.  I guess I’m really struggling with the balance of this whole diet thing.  I want to be really healthy and I know that I have made progress…but how much lee-way should I give myself?  Should I feel bad when I have two bad days of eating or should I allow it?  I think that balance has been one of my biggest challenges.